This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. Really, the last few years. I find myself at a crossroad. Let me start by saying this is NOT a bash of White people, Black people, purple people or blue people. I have some things I NEED to say!
This week I've found myself in several disagreements about the Syrian refugee crisis. I am not 100% sold on the idea of just opening America's borders to any refugees, HOWEVER, I am concerned with the viciousness and the meanspiritedness that I see. At some point during each and every concern, race came up. Out of all those times, I brought it up ONCE. And, frankly it was because I was sick and tired and I'd had enough. But, then I started thinking that maybe I am too sensitive..And, then I decided to put fingers to keyboard and speak my truth. The remainder of the blog is not about the refugee crisis at all.... It's the questions and answers that came to my mind.
Why is it not ok for me to talk about my Blackness when people remind me of it each and every day? Just when I bought their brand of bull that they were colorblind, they let me know, THAT IS A LIE!
So, you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it's because when I purchased a beautiful truck and it immediately started having problems with it, the general manager told me 'I know what happened here. You people do this all the time. You buy cars that you can't afford and then you make up things to get out of having to pay"
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it's because I hear more times than I care to remember, "You are so articulate"... Let me give you a hint. That is not a compliment to a 41 year old, college educated person...EVER. Why is this surprising to you? Because I'm not the illiterate porch monkey you assumed I would be.
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it's because when I went into an establishment to use the restroom and offered to PURCHASE a meal and I didn't even need them to make it because there weren't any public restrooms, a man loudly proclaimed "yea, they think since Obama became President they can do whatever they want to do"... so, you think that I want to purchase a meal that I'm not even going to eat. No, if I was doing what I WANTED to do...well, we won't go there
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it's because when I'm in a group where I'm the only Black person, inevitably after everyone else has been greeted with a 'hello", I receive a 'hey girlfriend' or 'hey, sister'.... get a dictionary. Go to sister and girlfriend. I assure you I'm neither of those to you. (I'm speaking not of people that I KNOW)
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it's because when I'm at a statewide competition sitting at a table with a group of educators and I am the only Black one, the White waitress comes over to ME to let me know that 'we're serving fried chicken for lunch'. When she sees my befuddled expression, she goes on to say "it's REALLY good and I wanted you to know". At first, I think it's not because I'm Black. It's because I'm fat. But, then I realize there are 3 other fatties at the table too...So, nah, that ain't it.
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it is because I've realized that every turn, there's a White person reminding me that I'm Black. As if, I could ever forget it.
perhaps it's because I realize that when the White person is telling me I'm Black, I'm supposed to be OK with that. But, somehow when I say, I'M BLACK. I'm a race baiter. I'm a liberal. I'm Too darn sensitive. I'm a reverse racist.
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it is because when I mention racist or racism, you get offended and start defending yourself and getting in your feelings. EVEN if I've never said White racist.
perhaps it is because you assume that everytime a Black person says racism, they are talking about you!
So you say I'm too sensitive--
perhaps it is because I have the ability to not lump you in with a bunch of crazed fools but you see me as you see every other person
and please keep your, I've got Black friends speech.
Good for you.
So, am I too senstive...Nope, But maybe I'm just a little to Black for your taste. I'm an uppity Negro. I don't pick cotton. And, I don't bow down.
Smooches and Much love~!
